Moments before MJ Zayas and Donald John Krams exchanged vows on September 24, 2022, at the Loft by Bridgeview, an event space in Island Park, New York, Mr. Krams broke down in tears when he saw his future wife for the first time.
“The green was essential. It’s my favorite color,” said Mx. Zayas, who uses their pronoun. “Putting that outfit on and seeing my husband cry at how beautiful he thought I looked in it were the most affirming and unforgettable moments of my life.”
A.D. Zayas, 32, a grants coordinator at a nonprofit provider of services for people with developmental disabilities in Plainview, N.Y., near where the couple lives, wore a tailored emerald jacket and matching pleated, high-waisted skirt. They accessorized with combat boots and a large, exaggerated black bow that hung deliberately around their necks—a stark but complementary contrast to Mr. Krams’ rented suit from Men’s Wearhouse. (Mr. Krams, 34, is a partner at Moncler, the luxury coat company.)
A.D. Zayas’ outfit was created by Shao Yang, the owner of Tailory New York, a clothing company that specializes in tailored, inclusive and gender-neutral options.
In recent years, industry professionals have seen a small but noticeable rise in gender-neutral wedding wear — a move away from the feminine and masculine garments that defined bridal fashion — particularly from LGBTQ designers and allies who feel responsibility to provide inclusive clothing. These clothes are often made to order and can include three-piece suits, jumpsuits, dresses and jackets. More traditional silhouettes can have dramatic and personalized touches or stunning colors.
Exhibition 2022 from Klarna, a Swedish fintech company that provides online financial services, found that 36 percent of US consumers had purchased fashion outside of their gender identity. Gen Z consumers are the biggest adopters of gender-based fashion, the report said, “with nearly 58 percent of shoppers in this age group having purchased a fashion item outside of their gender identity.” (Millennials dropped in at 40 percent, while Gen Xers contributed 22 percent.)
“Having options for how people want to dress for their wedding is finally becoming a reflection of the multitude of ways people identify and express themselves,” said Lei Bretón, 46, an Indianapolis-based transgender formal wear designer and its owner House of Bretónthat offers wedding dresses for transgender, queer, gay, nonbinary and plus-size customers.
“A wedding dress is a language in itself,” said Jackson Wiederhoeft, 30, a New York-based designer and owner of Wiederhoeft, specializing in flamboyant and androgynous clothing. “You can say things with your body and clothes that you can’t say with words. This power is extreme. It’s a statement for you and everyone else in the room.”
A.D. Wiederhoeft, who uses them, said they wanted everyone to see themselves and their bodies in a way they never expected by wearing something gender-affirming. Given the industry’s ongoing challenges to be more inclusive, it’s a lofty goal.
“When it comes to fashion, we’re seeing genderless or non-gender specific designs by people who have the financial resources to play with in deciding whether now is the right time to test the waters,” said Helana Darwin, a sociologist who specializes in gender and author of Remaking Gender: How Non-Binary Gender is Contributing to Social Change. “That doesn’t mean we see it in the fashion or wedding industry.”
To move the needle, Dr. Darwin suggested that other clothing manufacturers should “decide that it makes sense to create genderless clothing and that there is sufficient demand to invest the resources in supply.”
The wedding industry may be the last to adopt gender-neutral offerings, he added, “because this particular type of fashion runs the risk of causing outrage when it moves away from the gender binary.” He argued that there was still a widespread belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman. “So people feel strongly about clothes and how they should reflect that,” she said.
One of the biggest obstacles to gender-normalizing attire is sizing in traditional bridal collections. A.D. Bretón, who uses them, said most trans and non-binary bodies didn’t fit into a typical suit or dress, which is why “it’s so important to have someone who understands their specific bodies and can make them feel comfortable and fully visible”. he said.
A.D. Bretón, a self-taught Colombian-born designer who created custom looks for 30 clients in 2023, often begins designing with clients a year before their wedding date. Offers include three-piece wool stretch suits. Prices range from $3,500 to $4,000, depending on fabric, and include a custom shirt. The dresses are purpose-built with spiral steel boning, which offers greater mobility and a defined fit, they said. A light pink “Jellyfish Liberace” jumpsuit, with a silk cape inspired by the “Little Mermaid” treasure, costs $4,500.
“Fabric has no gender. It’s the gender we put it in,” Mx said. Breton said. “As a trans designer, it’s important to give yourself more permission to wear whatever you want.”
A.D. Wiederhoeft agreed.
“Is this the day to say who I am, who I want to be, and who I am in this relationship?” said Mch. Wiederhoeft, who described the industry as a slow entity where not all visions and voices are represented. “Bridal boutiques don’t carry what’s exciting. They don’t want to take any chances. Not everyone is right now. There is still one fear.”
Last year Mch. Wiederhoeft opened his Fashion Week show with Richie Shazam, a non-binary model who walked the runway wearing a $7,000 Victorian-inspired white wedding dress with long sleeves covered in sequins that created a disco ball effect . A large, black embroidered bow adorned the front.
“A lot of people are not used to seeing queer images. There is still a lot of convincing, but gender is in the conversation,” said Mx. Wiederhoeft said, adding that “visibility” is a way to help normalize and make these clothes more acceptable.
Curtis Cassell, 35, worked as a waiter in the Ivy Room at Tree Studios, an event venue in Chicago, while designing suits on the side from 2014 to 2017, and he usually saw two fashion choices at weddings: men in black suits and women in white dresses.
“I wanted to create a line of wedding wear that didn’t fit into the wedding world and didn’t fall on the men’s or women’s rack, but would rather fill the aisles in between,” she said.
Mr. Cassell, who is from Ohio and moved to Brooklyn’s Greenpoint neighborhood in 2018, said he liked to balance menswear with women’s drama, such as trains, beading and skirts. In 2020 he created Queer, a gender inclusive formal wear company in New York. His first collection was released that year, it was a nod to the beach and Romeo and Juliet — “think dramatic, historical, big shapes a la old-school Met Gala,” she said.
The 2024 collection is a deconstructed analysis of the tuxedo. “A gender-bending expression of shirts, suits and tuxedos, which has exploded into dresses and jackets,” said Mr. Cassell, who designs six to eight wedding dresses a year for clients while they’re still waiting tables. “We should have body type clothing that represents each person’s identity and expression, especially on your wedding day.”
Marteal Mayer, 34, its owner and designer Flower Bride, a boutique bridal shop in Greenpoint, offers the kind of shopping Mr. Cassell encourages. Its sustainable and natural fabrics are made into gender-neutral garments in a wide range of sizes “that are all in one collection, so you don’t have to label yourself in a certain department,” Ms. Mayer said.
Loulette Bride focuses on textured fabrics such as silk jacquard and lace from France. Prices range from $500 for blouses to $4,500 for dresses. The shirts are lined with cotton bobbin, creating a breathable mesh, making it extremely malleable for different body types. There are dozens of outfits that people can mix and match, including dresses, pants, jumpsuits, skirts, and capes.
For her Spring 2022 shoot, she photographed two male friends in her dresses.
“It’s important to show everyone’s representation in a safe environment where they feel seen and understood,” Ms. Mayer said. “You can’t just show thin, straight women’s bodies in a size zero. It’s hard to see yourself.”
Ms. Yang, 44, owner of Tailory New York, was working in a predominantly male environment creating custom men’s suits when her frustration with the lack of options for women and the gender community inspired her to launch a full-fledged line in 2014.
“I was in a boys’ club and nobody wanted to work with me when I told them to expand our services to other types of organizations because they didn’t see a need,” he said.
Her wedding line consists of different tailored options: a three-piece tailored suit, jumpsuit, dress and beaded blazer, which “strike the perfect balance between your feminine and masculine sides,” Ms. Yang said, adding that the her overalls, fused-together dress and suit, are her most popular items.
“It confirms one’s identity,” he said. “Most of our clients are fluid and don’t fit into the traditional marriage category.”
Ms. Yang dresses over 300 people each year for their weddings and special events. Her jumpsuits are made from Italian satin and start at $2,950. Beading or hand embellishments can cost an additional $1,500 to $5,000. Charges include custom designs, parts and modifications. “Creating wedding clothes for everyone is a revolution,” she said. “It’s encouraging for everyone to live as themselves and feel safe, vulnerable and visible while doing so.”
However, some people may find that genderless clothing can be a “high wedding fashion risk”, Dr Darwin said. “Especially when you mix and match symbols of different things to create your own hybrid and reality.”
But people like Mx. Zayas says having gender-neutral options is life-affirming.
“I wanted to wear an expression of myself. I wanted to break the rules,” said Mx. Zagias said. “I don’t know what I would wear if these options weren’t available. Clothes should have no rules, especially on the biggest day of your life.”