In January, Tessa Tookes tried on her dream wedding dress at a bridal boutique in Ontario. When store clerks told her she would have to pay $200 to have bras matched to her skin color, her heart sank. The beige cups already incorporated into the dress, however, were complimentary. Ivory cups were also a complimentary option.
Mrs Tookes, who is black, loved the dress so much she put down a deposit for half the price of the gown. But when he got home, he had time to process what had happened.
“When the dust settled a week later, I thought I probably wouldn’t want to wear that dress anymore,” Ms Tookes, 28, said. “It feels kind of awkward and wrong.”
When her fiancé, Joey Kirchner, 34, learned of the incident, he he expressed his anger on their shared TikTok account, in a video that has received more than 4.5 million views and 12,000 comments. “So you’re telling me it’s free to be white?” Mr. Kirchner, an actor and model, said in the video.
In an interview, Mr. Kirchner, who is white, added: “Why is the standard ‘nude’ a ‘nude’ that matches my skin tone?”
After the couple posted the video, a representative from the boutique texted them and offered them the coffee cups for free, said Ms Tookes, a model and business specialist. But she believed the boutique didn’t take responsibility for how the experience made her feel.
A few hours later, as the video became a distraction, the representative arrived again. This time, the boutique offered the entire dress for free. “I think they were nervous that we would expose their name,” Ms Tookes said. (The couple did not accept the offer or name the boutique.)
Since then, many designers have approached the couple, touting their inclusive policies. Last week, Ms. Tookes visited a few stores in New York and even found her new wedding dress.
Ms. Tookes’ experience at the Ontario boutique is one shared by many women of color who shop for wedding dresses. For her wedding in May 2023, Ashley Oliver Thomas paid $150 to have the bras of her ceremony gown dyed to match her skin tone. “It almost sounds like it’s a ‘black tax’ or ‘a colored tax,'” he said.
Ms. Thomas, 36, a director of diversity who lives in Lexington, Ky., added that the fabric of the dresses she had seen in the stores she visited suited lighter skin tones. He had to do a lot of visualizations to imagine what they would look like after the changes were made.
“The terms ‘sheer’ and ‘nude’ mean ‘beige’ or ‘beige’,” Ms Thomas said. “I am a black woman with darker skin. I’m more ‘chestnut’, ‘chocolate’.’
Ms Thomas added that she felt burdened to ask questions about whether designers offered the option to dye the lace or mesh of a dress and what the cost would be. “Having these conversations is extra work for brides of color,” Ms. Thomas said.
“Typically the bridal market is white, young girls,” said Rachel Sojo, a bridal stylist in Chicago. That’s why he prefers to work with brands like Esé Azénabor and boutiques like Belle Atelierprofessionals catering to brides of all ethnicities.
It’s also why Ms. Thomas felt she had to work with a black designer for her reception dress: an illusion gown, a style made with a sheer tulle base meant to blend with the bride’s skin. She went with Brides by Nona, an atelier in Marietta, Ga., that offers different shades — and at no extra charge. “It was a big relief,” Ms Thomas said.
Gbemi Okunlola, the founder of the fashion brand Alonuko, is particularly known for her illusion dresses. After shopping with her sister for her wedding in 2014, Ms. Okunlola launched her own bridal collection and designed sheer tulle for black women.
“Every part of the dress that would work for a white bride, we make it work for us,” said Ms. Okunlola, who is black. This includes zippers, loops and threads on the dress. And 25 color options. “It’s not a simple process,” she said, but it’s a priority for her.
“It costs a lot more to provide so many options,” Ms Okunlola said. “But it’s almost like brands are punishing people for having a different skin color than the default.”
After posting on TikTok, Ms Tookes said she had noticed some changes. He saw that the designer’s website that had charged for the cups updated its language from “brown cups available separately” to “all cups available.”
“A small change,” Ms Tookes said, “but one that certainly has an impact.”